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Week 2 NFL Power Rankings (From an Amateur)
As Week 2 of the NFL has come and gone, one thing is certain: anything can happen. The Texans dominate, Green Bay looks like the mid-1990s, and Cleveland scores 51 points…in one game. This madness makes power ranking a bit more challenging, but what the hell: we’re going to do it anyway.
1. New England Patriots (2-0) (Previous Rank: 2): Cheating scandal aside, there’s no question the Pats looked like champions against a vastly outplayed Chargers team. Not only was their offense unstoppable, but their defense held LaDainian Tomlinson to 43 yards. New England is the team to beat. These guys are hungry.
2. Indianapolis Colts (2-0) (Previous Rank: 1): Sure, it was a win, but the Colts didn’t exactly dominate, winning by two in a game that came down to the final moments. As Tennessee (a team that, for whatever reason, always seems to give Indianapolis a run for its money) seemed to come from behind, Indy relied on their defense. In a meeting where one of Adam Vinatari’s field goals was partially blocked, bounced off the crossbar and still went in, we can’t help but think that gravity is on the side of these defending champions.
3. Dallas Cowboys (2-0) (Previous Rank: 4): For a while, Dallas’ 37-20 win looked like anyone’s game, but by the time the fourth quarter was in full swing, the Cowboys were galloping off into the sunset. Their offense was solid, but this game belonged to their defense. With five tackles, Wade Phillips — a defensive coordinator who has been a head coach several times — should be proud. Currently, this team is the stud of the NFC.
4. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0) (Previous Rank: 7): The only really ugly thing about Pittsburgh’s game was their uniforms (sorry, but I’m against yellow). Ben Roethlisberger had another solid outing and Willie Parker rushed for 126 yards. Outplaying an emotionally drained Bills team, the Steelers defense held their opponents to three points. They may return to their 2005 state.
5. Denver Broncos (2-0) (Previous Rank: 5): As Denver Broncos fans everywhere find themselves with sores, they can’t help but wonder if any game won’t be decided by a last-second field goal. In a contest that appeared to be put away by Denver, Oakland came from behind to produce another thrilling finish. No one can say the Broncos are boring, but if Denver wants to have a good season, they need to learn to hold their lead… or buy Prilosec for all their fans.
6. San Diego (1-1) (Previous rank: 3): It’s hard to go on the road and it’s hard to play anything — yes, even the “I Spy” game — against Bill Belichick, but the Chargers didn’t just lose, they lost bad. Practically destroyed by New England, this team looked a lot different than last year. Not only did their star running back hit a wall, but Philip Rivers was playing like a rookie quarterback. Their offense couldn’t get going and their defense couldn’t stop anything. Is it too early to say they miss Marty Schottenheimer?
7. Chicago Bears (1-1) (Previous Rank: 9): Chicago’s first win of the season belongs to their special teams: Devin Hester is the new Dante Hall. The Bears defense looked solid as usual, limiting the Chiefs to just ten points. How they played on the other side of the ball, however, is another story. Although they doubled the Chiefs’ score, Chicago still needs some work. Their passing game has to do something about not doing anything.
8. Baltimore Ravens (1-1) (Previous rank: 11): For a while, it looked like the New York Jets were winning over Baltimore. But we all know it’s the score that matters in the end: Ravens 20, Jets can’t take off. Still, if Baltimore wants to keep playing, they’ll have to make sure their opponents’ last-minute comebacks “never again.”
9. Green Bay Packers (2-0) (Previous rank: 14): Is it just me, or is it nice to see Brett Favre having fun again? While climbing into the record books as the winningest quarterback in NFL history, No. 4 led his team over a poor New York Giants defense. A road win is a big win for Favre and company. Now they’re 2-0, somewhere they haven’t been in, say, six years.
10. Houston Texans (2-0) (Previous rank: 15): The playoffs are a long way off, but Houston has reason to be excited. To put it bluntly, this team looks good. After their first win against the Chiefs, the Texans came from behind on their way to destroying Carolina. At 2-0, these players are playing like they have something to prove. And so far they are proving it.
11. Cincinnati Bengals (1-1) (Previous Rank: 8): Who would have thought Carson Palmer could score six touchdowns and the Bengals would still lose? Well, that’s exactly what happened. In a game that was all about offense, the Bengals proved they could deliver. Their defense, on the other hand, was poor. Browns fans poured beer on Chad Johnson and Browns players put points on the scoreboard. Cleveland, yes Cleveland, scored 51 points against a less than feisty Bengals D.
12. Carolina Panthers (1-1) (Previous rank: 6): Everyone said the Houston Texans wouldn’t be able to stop Steve Smith and they didn’t. But, strangely enough, it didn’t matter. Smith had 153 yards and three touchdowns, but the only Carolina fans happy in the end were those with him on their fantasy team. Carolina can’t lose games like this at home if they want to be a contender.
13. Seattle Seahawks (1-1) (Previous rank: 10): In the battle of the birds, the Cardinals flew higher than the Seahawks, winning by three points. Seattle fought back with a 17-0 deficit, which is saying something. However, in the end they fumbled their chances of victory. This loss will hurt for a while.
14. Tennessee Titans (1-1) (Previous rank: 16): Vince Young and company shouldn’t hang their heads too low: they were colts, well, close. It started to look like they were going to pull it off, but unfortunately, they dropped by two points. Still, this Titans team is solid. Here’s to one fucking year. If they manage to continue, they will find themselves in the playoffs.
15. San Francisco (2-0) (Previous rank: 17): The St. Louis Rams may have outplayed the 49ers, but all that matters in the end is the final score. Coming off a 17-16 victory, San Francisco doesn’t care how they win, as long as they do. Our hearts go out to Frank Gore, a man who performed well despite the recent loss of his mother.
16. Washington Redskins (2-0) (Previous rank: 19): Don’t look now, but the Redskins are, dare I say it, undefeated. After beating the Eagles 20-12, Washington is poised to be a factor in the NFC East. In a game that saw great plays on both offense and defense, the Redskins look like they could leave a lot of teams blue this season.
17. Detroit Lions (2-0) (Previous rank: 24): A Lions vs. Vikings game would normally seem as exciting as a Pee Wee football contest, but this year is different; this year, the Leos – yes, I’m saying it – are kind of exciting. Despite a game marred by turnovers and a concussion that sidelined John Kitna, Detroit won in overtime. Anyone else predicting a Lions/Texans Super Bowl?
18. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) (Previous Rank: 20): After an embarrassing start to the season, the Jaguars have fired their way to redemption. Recording seven sacks against the Falcons, Jacksonville stuck to what they do best: playing defense. The Jaguars’ offense played well enough to get the job done. A decent offense and great defense is how Jacksonville will win.
19. New Orleans Saints (0-2) (Previous rank: 12): In light of Mother Nature’s recent deeds, it’s hard not to love the Saints. Yet we, like most of America, are beginning to believe that last year was what many people thought it was: a fairy tale season. This time, they are rooted in reality. But don’t give them their marching papers just yet. They could still reverse; the talent is there.
20. Philadelphia Eagles (0-2) (Previous rank: 13): Okay Eagle fans, maybe it’s time to start panicking. Losing to Green Bay on the road was one thing; the loss to Washington at home was completely different. McNabb looks like McBadd. If they lose to Detroit, they’ll find themselves in a hole they can’t climb out of.
21. Minnesota Vikings (1-1) (Previous rank: 18): Vikings no longer own lions. In a game marked by seven interceptions, the Vikings defense played well and made up for a terrible offense. Not many teams will win when the offense continues to create chances away from home.
22. Arizona Cardinals (1-1) (Previous rank: 23): Edgerin James and Matt Leinart had big games as the Cardinals defeated Neil Reckers. It was a dramatic win, but it showed that Arizona is still capable of making big gains. They have to learn to get into the attack.
23. Cleveland Browns (1-1) (Previous rank: 32): Wow, who knew the Browns were capable of this type of offense. In what was his best Derek Anderson Peyton Manning impression, the Cleveland quarterback threw for 328 yards and five touchdowns. The offense looked great, but the defense, as Cincinnati topped them with 45 points, could still use some effort.
24. Tampa Bay (1-1) (Previous rank: 29): Joey Galloway made his fantasy owners proud on Sunday, catching for 135 yards and two touchdowns. Still, he might want to keep the exhibition to a minimum, at least until Tampa Bay is above .500.
25. New York Giants (0-2) (Previous rank: 22): The Giants made less than brilliant mistakes and played defense with more holes than a fishing net. So far, it really looks like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel for Ellie and the gang.
26. Miami Dolphins (0-2) (Previous rank: 21): Are the fins ready? Well, not yet, but they need to start doing better. In a game that featured poor play and Trent Green throwing four interceptions, Miami almost had no chance. Green’s ability to find Chris Chambers is promising, but he needs to start finding him in the end zone.
27. Oakland Raiders (0-2) (Previous rank: 30): Well, they tried well. In what might one day be known as the “Time Out Game,” Oakland rushed their kicker in overtime only to find the game wasn’t actually over. After the Raiders fumbled 52 yards, Denver regained control and went on to win. You have to hand it to Oakland, though: they refused to die at the Mile School.
28. Atlanta Falcons (0-2) (Previous rank: 28): Joey Harrington doesn’t stand a chance if the offensive line doesn’t protect him. With the quarterback unable to run like Vick, Atlanta will have to learn to block. At Brightside, the Falcons were in this one all the way.
29. New York Jets (0-2) (Previous rank: 25): At 0-and-2, it’s starting to look like last year was a fluke for the Jets. They played well in the fourth quarter, but it was too little too late. Let’s hope “Genius” has something up his sleeve or this season will be smart.
30. St. Louis Rams (0-2) (Previous rank: 27): Good teams find a way to win games they should lose, and bad teams find a way to lose games they should win. For Rams fans, their team is in the latter category. Despite outplaying the 49ers, St. Louis was unable to rally their way to victory. They have to stop making mistakes if they want to have a chance.
31. Buffalo Bills (0-2) (Previous rank: 26): We feel for the Bills, players who have been on an emotional rollercoaster all week. We sympathize with them, but we still have to say that this is not their year. After getting robbed by Denver, the Steelers rolled over them. Their defense is doing well in the red zone, but the same cannot be said for their offense.
32. Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) (Previous Rank: 31): While their defense has started to show signs of life, their offense and their special teams just can’t get anything going. If something doesn’t start happening, the Chiefs might want to throw their arrowheads in the oven. It’s going to be a long, long season.
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