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Seduction Talking Points
What is seduction?
* Seduction is the art of using sexual attraction to achieve a goal.
* The goal is not always sexual intimacy. For example, television commercials use young attractive models to promote a sexy and fashionable image for their products and services. The sexy part motivates you to buy their products.
* Again, there is the cruise or coupling, in which the target of the seducer is consumed in a one-night stand.
* More often, the goal of seduction is to win over a soul mate. Here, physical attractiveness is key to making that all-important first impression. But beyond that, a lasting relationship can only come about through shared interests and personal chemistry.
* The rarest form of seduction is espionage. Here, bribery and blackmail are more common methods of obtaining intelligence, which is the ultimate goal. But seduction for industrial purposes—as opposed to state-sponsored espionage—had a long and healthy run in this country until the passage of the Economic Espionage Act of 1996.
How to seduce?
* To be seductive, you must first look seductive. Appearance counts for that first impression, and you want to make your planned dream date think, “Wow!” before you open your mouth.
* For most young adults, the keys to looking good are exercise, diet, proper grooming, and a wardrobe that matches your environment. Most of the time this is common sense. That ribbed sweater that hugs your toned figure sure looks great on the ski slopes, but you might think twice about taking it on a tropical cruise. For men, jeans and a flannel shirt are perfect for hiking, but not appropriate anywhere the ladies dress. If girls go through all that trouble to look good, you have to try too.
* Let’s say you have all the classic features of domesticity… You have cheekbones, wide eyes, a receding chin, a hooked nose and bushy eyebrows. But let’s also assume that you are disciplined. Your weight is under control, and you graduated at the top of your class in college. How do you get a grade? As a last resort, consider plastic surgery.
* If you paid roughly $100 to $200k to complete your higher education, shouldn’t you spend maybe $20k on treatment with a top notch plastic surgeon? This may seem radical, but psychological studies have consistently shown that attractive people are more successful in business and earn more money. This may sound shallow to you, but it’s a fact, and it gives you a solid rationale that goes beyond the mere vanity of going under the knife.
* I REPEAT; most young adults do not need surgery. Proper nutrition, grooming and good training are all they need.
What makes a successful seduction?
* The artist of seduction knows that people have many needs. We all have common needs such as safety, comfort, social acceptance and that all-important soul mate.
* We also have individual needs, which can be intellectual, emotional or task-oriented. This even includes one or more of the seven deadly sins! Individual needs include preferences, which are not absolute. For example, you might prefer a partner who is tall…short…slim…chubby…blonde…brunette…chubby… On the other hand, some individual needs are absolute and functional like filters to exclude a potential suitor who is not listed. Thus, an Orthodox Jew who is in the habit of dating only another Orthodox Jew will. Of course, the biggest filter of all is the fact that your potential dream date is currently seeing someone else.
* Finally, we have intimate needs. Many of them you cannot name, because they are located in the emotional centers of our brain, a place that Freud called the subconscious mind. However, intimate needs are very powerful. They can flash green lights of excitement and red lights of caution to our conscious mind, all depending on the complex interplay of thoughts and circumstances at the time. Intimate needs manifest with brute force in our conscious minds and determine whether we are straight or gay, even how we like to be held. They can also include obsessions and fetishes – among other things.
* The most important thing to remember is that successful seduction requires meeting as many of your partner’s shared, individual and intimate needs as possible. This is something you can’t fake or talk about.
* Social interaction is spontaneous, so sometimes it’s best to sit back and objectively observe the person you’re interested in. Record your findings as if you were writing a field study for a naturalist’s journal. You don’t need much formal training here. Just say in plain English what the person is wearing. Pay attention to his or her grooming. Pay attention to the style of clothing and the way he or she sits. Watch out for any unusual mannerisms. We all have them. How does he turn his head? Does he spread his fingers when he looks at his nails? Look for special jewelry. Anything worn for several days in a row is special to that person and is worthy of a compliment when you decide to break the ice. A professional manicurist tells you that a woman takes special care of her appearance, but it can also mean that she likes to be pampered.
* Why are you doing this? This is called research, and you can go as far as you like. But please, don’t stalk or invade that person’s privacy. In other words, it’s okay to find out through the grapevine that the man of your dreams likes football and chocolate, but it’s not okay to pick through his trash.
How do you break through the ice?
* If you are an attractive woman, it is easy. Guys will naturally flirt with you. Of course, that cute guy you’ve been dying to meet has a serious case of shyness. Think like a spy. Make a small disaster like accidentally bumping into him and dropping your stuff. This gives him a chance to become a knight in shining armor. When he helps you gather your things (and he will), make your move. How far ahead do you want to be? It is up to you. Be warm and welcoming. Now, if you’ve really done your research, you know he’s a rabid Yankees fan. Do you think he might be interested in those two tickets you have for the game against the Red Sox?
* When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, men as a group are not as focused as women. In fact, I could say that most men are downright lazy. All around them, women are giving off telltale signals, and guys are clueless. Think about all the high maintenance your lady-in-waiting went through with her hair, makeup, color coordination, and her jewelry. It all begs to be noticed and commented on. What does the mirror tell her? She talks to it every day.
* Men should give up trying to understand what a woman is thinking. It’s too complicated, and it won’t help that seductive first impression anyway. What is more important is the emotional state of the woman, which emits hi-def signals in plain sight. Unfortunately, many guys have faulty antennas.
* A common sense guide for a man is that he still has to make the first move, but before he approaches, he has to look his best and he has to carry the confidence that says he is comfortable in his own skin. He must understand the lady’s individual needs and must be ready to compliment the lady on those things that mean the most to her. Remember that social acceptance is a a common need, and you can assume that they will respond well to compliments. As far as she’s concerned individual needs, you’ll have to do your research. For example, what is her favorite song? Instead of probing her with a series of questions, you can try to mention your favorite music, authors, vacation spots, etc. and let her lead the conversation. Listen to her every word and try to remember not only what she says, but also how she says it. Where do her passions lie?
* A woman often responds to a warm conversation with flirtatious gestures. They will smile appropriately and make direct eye contact. If you bore her, she’ll look away and maybe even try to get a friend’s attention to help get her away from you. If she gives you a sideways glance over her raised shoulder, she’s flirting. If he hears his favorite song, you might see him get goosebumps. Say the words “Magnificent Song” and they might even give you a hug.
How do you seal the deal with a kiss?
* Always remember that intimacy is not a gymnastic event. Never rush the first kiss. The arms should extend first, then the forearms, then the hands. Maybe your partner wants to feel the power of your broad shoulders. Don’t get in her way with a stupid kiss. And why the first kiss must be on the lips. Kissing the side of her head is intimate and loving. When lips meet, let them be gentle. Your tongue is not a ram. And please don’t try for second base unless her hands guide you there. Just tell her, “You look beautiful.” And you better think so too!
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