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Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch! Are All the Women in My Area Stupid?
“I need someone to help me try to stand out. There’s no one here who can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I’M THE CATCH!” – Phil in Illinois
The Honest Answer
We’ll answer the last part of Phil’s question first, then give you some quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.
Part 1: “…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I’M A HIT!” When trying to appeal to another person , that is, to attract that really cute girl, look at yourself from her perspective, and understand what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities “from her perspective.” In that moment it’s about her, not you. Maybe you come across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence, but not arrogance. You have to be sure of yourself without offending her.
Focus on your best qualities in your online profile headline and details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that each person is a unique individual, with different preferences and tastes. What is a “great catch” to one person may be a turn-off to another, and vice versa. Beware of assuming that other people experience things the same way you do – this is rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.
Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…” Here are some simple things you can do to REALLY stand out from all the other men on any dating site.
Upload a high-quality photo We’ll keep going at this until every guy gets one! Most men don’t post their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10x more views than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4x more views than profiles with poor photos. The key word here is QUALITY PHOTOGRAPHY. This is where most men who upload photos really mess up. They post a bad grainy photo, or worse, they post a photo of their ex-girlfriend drawn out. If you don’t like your photo, get a professional one. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but take great photos for your online dating profile. This is the biggest thing you can do to stand out!
Write a catchy headline When it comes to writing an online profile, it’s easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what that person has to say next. The whole purpose of your headline is to make the other person want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still make them curious. You’re trying to make them want to read more about your profile, so it helps to either ask a question that the reader can think will be answered in the profile, or try to establish a sense of mystery.
Have a well-written, intriguing profile Writing about yourself in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What can I say? Where do I start? Why are they making me do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and ultimately save you a lot of wasted time and energy. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.
Be what you are. Honesty is the best policy . While it may be tempting to get a little worked up about your weight, your age, or your marital status, the best way to make sure you find the person you’re looking for is to BE HONEST BE HONEST! Write like you speak. Be what you are. Sure, you’re trying to do your best, but you’re also trying to find someone who loves you for who you really are.
Target your market. Don’t say “leather and whips” when looking for real romance on eHarmony and in the same regard, don’t use words like “true love” when looking for a one-night stand on AdultFriendFinder.
To be unique. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I love football,” you can say “I love watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday nights at my favorite sports bar. You can see how it says a lot more about you. What things are most important to you in life? Is it health, career, family, entertainment, learning, religion or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are; including them in your profile will attract the right type of woman to you and lead others away.
Don’t forget to check your spelling. Nothing is worse than reading a profile that starts with “maybe yours the one for me” or something worse. (In case you didn’t realize it should be ” you are” instead of “your”.) Of course, we’re not all perfect, but that squiggly red line halfway down your text is there for a reason.
Stay tuned, more coming soon…
We encourage our readers to send us their most pressing questions about online dating and relationships. If you haven’t told us your questions yet, go to AskDanAndJennifer.com and do it now before you forget.
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